Weekend Recap and Other Awesomeness

Ugh, I am SO unmotivated today! Mainly because I can't take a decent breath. I don't know if I've pulled a muscle from all my coughing spells over the past 10 days, or if I have pleurisy (which I get all the dang time, so you'd think I'd know), or bronchitis, but my right lung/chest HURTS when I breathe. I'm still coughing, though not as frequently as I was last week. I can now breathe through my nose, though I still have to blow it quite a bit. I guess not being able to breathe deeply makes you tired, cause I have no energy today.

Yesterday afternoon, I ran around in the yard with C, kicking balls. It was fun, but man did it wear me out! Am I goin to the doctor?  Nah, probably not. If I thought I had a sinus infection I'd be there to get some drugs, but I don't think they can do anything for this right now. So unless I get a whole lot worse, I'll just complain about it. :P (Just kidding, complaining will cease now!)

We had a great weekend. Saturday morning, me and C headed to town to find some tap shoes. On Friday during my lunch break, I went to the consignment store and bought her some tap shoes, but they ended up being too small. I also got a few leotards and skirts, which thankfully fit just fine - yay for consignment! I found some ballet slippers at Target, and they were too small as well.

Of course, Once Upon A Child (consignment) didn't have any tap shoes in C's size, but luckily I got a full refund. Next, we hit up Michael's, where I scored some ribbon on clearance for $1. I made a beautiful hair bow for her, and forgot to take a picture (haha). I'll try to get on that (and a bow tutorial) soon! We exchanged the ballet slippers at Target for a larger brand, then went on a search for tap shoes.

Luckily, we hit pay dirt at Payless. C is totally in love with her shoes and wants to wear them all the time. And I have to say, she's pretty much a natural at tapping. ( :

Hopefully that video will play! If not, here's a still:

She tapped all over the house for me, and after her long nap (in her CRIB!!), we went to my mama's house, where she tapped for her, my cousin, and my grandma. I love that kid. ( :

Yesterday, she was alternating between the tap shoes and the ballet slippers to dance for her daddy - so cute.

After church yesterday, we headed to my aunt's for a birthday lunch for my cousin. We had a good time, and got to eat some of my aunt's delicious chocolate pound cake with cream cheese icing! Yum. Of course, we stayed over there through nap time, and when we got home, C wasn't about taking a nap. So her and I played outside while DH worked on the chicken and rabbit pens.

C and I had so much fun playing outside. We played with the balls, she rode her tricycle, we swung on the swingset, and she had a blast on the slide. I cherish times like that. Then one of DH's friends stopped by to show us what he bought at the livestock sale that morning, and somehow we ended up with 6 guinea keets! When they get big enough, we'll turn them loose so they can eat bugs around the farm. Our farm will never be quiet again! If you're not familiar with guineas, they are LOUD - like, obnoxiously loud.

Anyway, after we got over our new bird excitement (note my sarcasm), C and I hopped on Sunshine bareback. Then C kicked me off so she could ride by herself, haha. I didn't feel up to giving her a "lesson," so I just walked around with her. She didn't care! I'm so glad she loves horses already. ( :

Speaking of birds, our baby ducks are still going strong! Well, 8 of them are. We lost 1, but that was expected cause he was very weak. I'm happy. Mama duck is doing a great job at protecting them. They hang out in the pond a lot, but have also been hanging out around the chicken pens - which is pretty farm from the pond, so they must be strong babies.

All in all, it was an excellent weekend. The only thing that would have made it better if is I had felt better. But I can't complain, since it was a drastic improvement from the previous weekend, when I couldn't do anything but hack and blow my nose.

At church yesterday, my pastor preached on Psalm 121. This is my favorite Psalm, and probably my favorite Bible verses. I'd never heard a sermon on it, and I was impressed.

This Psalm has gotten me through some tough times in my life. It reminds me that God is always there for me. My pastor's message was about much more than that fact, though.

It inspired me to be better about my Bible reading and studies. Well, I should say it inspired me to DO it again. Sadly, I've really gotten off track with that. At the beginning of this year, I was reading the Bible daily with my Bible In One Year app, plus I was doing other random studies through books I found. I also read several books about building a closer relationship to God. I'm not sure what happened, but I stopped doing all that gradually. Its just easier to read "fun" things, like trashy romance novels, I guess. But you know what? Lately, I've been feeling not quite myself, almost depressed at times. I was just thinking on Friday how I needed to get back into the Word, cause when I was deep within it, I didn't feel this way. And then I heard this sermon yesterday - coincidence? I think not. My God is just awesome like that. ( :

So, I'm jumping back in. I'm gonna pick up where I left off with my "The Excellent Wife Day by Day" devotional, the BIOY app, and a couple of other books I recently purchased. Fill myself with spiritual goodness, reconnect with my Maker, have peace again. Who's with me? ( :

Vent

My daughter is my greatest blessing. She's also the source my greatest worry/stress. I knew being a mother would be hard, but its hard in so many different ways than I expected!

The hardest thing about being a mother is when your child is sick. Hands down. Yes, sometimes she's in one of her toddler moods and she's extremely hard to deal with, but I can handle that. I can handle it when her feelings are hurt or she's have a tantrum. I can even handle it when she gets a boo-boo like a scraped knee or a busted lip (which happened recently - and dang, do mouth wounds bleed a lot!!). But it kills me to know something is wrong that I can't fix with a hug and a kiss, or a Bandaid.

No one told me about this part of motherhood.

C is not sick right now. I do suspect she has yet another UTI, though. Her last one was just 3-4 weeks ago. The past few days, she's been showing the same symptoms she always does - very frequent urination and lots of accidents. Actually, over the weekend she did really well.

A few nights last week she told me her pee-pee hurt, and twice she actually cried when she was peeing. Since it only lasted a few nights (and only happened at night), I didn't think much of it.

Sunday at the baby shower, she did really well - no accidents. But she was going to the potty pretty frequently. Once, I asked her if she needed to potty and she did, then we barely made it out of the door before she said "I gotta pee-pee again!" But that time nothing came out. That's odd for her, but since she was otherwise acting fine, I brushed it off.

Yesterday when I picked her up, my MIL told me C had had 3 accidents that day. Pretty unusual for her. Then again, she had a busy weekend, my mother kept her on Friday, and we were at the beach Thursday. Sometimes a disruption in her normal schedule messes up her potty habits with my MIL. When that normally happens, she does just fine at home with me. So I again didn't think much of it.

Until I got home, and she had 5 accidents in the span of an hour and a half.

That is a lot of urinating! Each time it was just a small amount. Just like when she had her last UTI.

I can't say that I panicked, but I was on the edge. I feel so out of control when this happens. WHY does my baby keep getting UTIs??!

Next Monday, we have an appointment with a pediatric urologist at Duke. I'm hoping he can give us some answers.

In the meantime, I decided to go ahead and get a urine sample to her pediatric doctor. Last month, the nurse told me I could just bring in a sample without her being seen, but at the last minute, they changed their mind. (And then she got that terrible stomach bug from being in that germ-infested place.) So I brought the sample with me to work and called the peds. You have to leave a message for a nurse to call you back, and they usually call within an hour. 3 hours later I hadn't heard a thing, so I left another message.

This time, they called back pretty quickly. But the nurse said I had to bring her in. I insisted that I did not want to take her in, and explained that every single time I take her there, she comes home with a virus. That place is disgusting. Plus, we have to wait over an hour every time. Its just so stressful. I figured since they just saw her 3-4 weeks ago for this same issue, it wouldn't be a big deal to just test her urine.

Well, the nurse was kinda ugly on the phone, which brought out my inner Mama Bear. You don't want to be on the wrong side of that, trust me. I demanded that she ask the doctor and get back to me. Well, lo and behold, the doctor said it was fine to drop off a urine sample. But if it was positive, she wouldn't prescribe antibiotics without seeing C. Fine.

I dropped off the sample and told the nurse to call me. I explained to her that last month, the urine looked fine initially, but the culture grew, so to make sure to not discount it until tomorrow morning. She called me back in an hour and said the urine was fine. I asked had they cultured it and she said "umm....it got thrown away." WHAT!!

Let's just say that woman should be glad this happened over the phone and not in person. I was furious. I mean, really?! Why would you throw out a sample before you're done doing standard tests on it????!

For now, we're just gonna wait and see how C is tonight. If she's urinating a lot again, I'll try again with another sample tomorrow. Maybe it was just a one day thing, who knows.

It just doesn't seem normal to urinate that frequently and have nothing be wrong. Plus, we already know that her right kidney is swollen, and has been for at least 2 years now. My prayer is that this specialist on Monday can help us figure this out. Until then, please pray that C is okay and doesn't have an infection!

And yes, I have decided after this incident that I am DONE with her pediatric doctor. DoctorS, actually. Its a group practice. I love 2 of the physicians, but they are not worth all the headache I deal with every single time I go there. Last month, after the nurse called to confirm the UTI, I requested to speak to a doctor. The doctor that actually delivered me 30 years ago was who called me back. I've always liked him, until that day. When I asked him why C keeps having these UTIs, he was too nonchalant about it and brushed me off. When I requested a referral to a specialist, he tried to talk me out of it, saying a specialist wouldn't do anything. I had to demand a referral. He reluctantly gave me one, but I did not like his attitude. I am not the type of mother who rushes her child off to the doctor at every sniffle. (Hello, she had a cold for 5 weeks earlier this year, and I never even called the doctor cause I knew it was a cold.) But I trust my instincts, and so far they haven't led me wrong.

Restasis

Restasis is a drug for dry eye. Its supposed to help tear production. As in, make you actually produce tears. I started taking it this week. So far, I am not impressed, though my ophthalmologist said it usually takes several weeks to work, so I'm gonna give it a fair trial.

I think I've blogged before about my eye troubles. Maybe? If not, its pretty simple: I've always had dry eyes. It goes with the rest of my body. My skin from head to toe is extremely dry. I've always struggled to find lotions that actually last more than a few hours on my skin. I get dry patches, flakes, you name it. (But not dandruff for some reason.) My hair is so dry I only wash it twice a week on average; anything more and it turns into sandpaper. (Though I have recently discovered a shampoo and conditioner that I absolutely love! It makes my hair super soft.) Bottom line: I'm a very dry person. I don't think I produce any natural oils at all. If you have super oily skin, you might think this is a blessing, but I assure you, its not!

Several years ago, my eyes got really bad and I had to quit wearing my contacts for several months. I got plugs put into my tear ducts in an attempt to keep tears in my eyes longer. It made a big difference, but eventually the plugs disintegrated. For a few years, I was okay. But lately, the extreme dryness has come back with a vengeance. I thought I had some weird eye disease at first. My eyes hurt, would get very red and irritated, and my vision was blurry all the time.

I go to the eye doctor every year without fail. I don't play around with my eyes! I have slightly increased ocular pressure, so I'm at risk for glaucoma. Plus, eye issues run in my mama's family, so I'm always concerned something will happen to mine. At my yearly appointment a few months ago, my dr told me all my symptoms were due to extreme dry eye. Yay. At least I wasn't going blind from some disease.

Of course, when he heard about a few of my other symptoms, he mentioned the word "autoimmune." I hear that all the dang time from doctors, but no one can pinpoint anything. I'm to the point I'm sick of that word!! Though he also threw out another word: Sjogren's. Years ago, when I was seeing a rheumatologist, that disease was mentioned, but 15 years ago there weren't ways to test for all these things like there are now. I actually have a lot of the classic symptoms of Sjogren's, but that doesn't meant I have the disease. After the fiasco of appointments last year about my stomach/intestinal issues, I decided no more doctors for a while (except for regular checkups). No one can figure out what's wrong with me and its frustrating. So until something goes wrong enough that I'm in danger, I won't be pursuing this. Mama wants me to have some more tests ran, but I'm just tired of it all right now. And even if they do settle on a diagnosis, none of these autoimmune diseases have cures. You just treat the symptoms. Which is basically what I already do.

Back to my eyes. The first thing my eye dr did was recommend eye drops multiple times a day. Like every hour. I did that for a while, but my eyes weren't any better. Drops last just a few minutes in my eyes, then they're dry again. So frustrating. I've tried several different ones. Though I think next I'm gonna try a gel or ointment to use at night. Next, my dr put the plugs in again. I've had them in for over a month now, and haven't noticed a difference at all. I think I just don't produce enough tears, end of story. He also prescribed Restasis a few months ago. Thanks to insurance and pharmacy issues, it took me 6 weeks to get the prescription filled! Which is why I'm just now starting the drug.

I haven't been able to wear my contacts since I started Restasis. I feel like there's constantly something stuck in my eye, and right after I put the drops in my eyes burn/hurt. I used the drops at 7:30am today and it is now after 11am and my eyes still feel like there's somethin in there. I'm not sure if this is normal or not. Its a side effect listed on the package, but does that mean I just can't tolerate Restasis?? I'm gonna call my dr and find out today.

When I was a newborn, my tear ducts weren't right and I had surgery when I was 7 months old or so. I don't know any details, but I wonder if I was just born with insufficient tears and ducts, or if the surgery messed somethin up?? Who knows. I'm such a medical mystery!

Anyone else try Restasis??