My daughter is my greatest blessing. She's also the source my greatest worry/stress. I knew being a mother would be hard, but its hard in so many different ways than I expected!

The hardest thing about being a mother is when your child is sick. Hands down. Yes, sometimes she's in one of her toddler moods and she's extremely hard to deal with, but I can handle that. I can handle it when her feelings are hurt or she's have a tantrum. I can even handle it when she gets a boo-boo like a scraped knee or a busted lip (which happened recently - and dang, do mouth wounds bleed a lot!!). But it kills me to know something is wrong that I can't fix with a hug and a kiss, or a Bandaid.

No one told me about this part of motherhood.

C is not sick right now. I do suspect she has yet another UTI, though. Her last one was just 3-4 weeks ago. The past few days, she's been showing the same symptoms she always does - very frequent urination and lots of accidents. Actually, over the weekend she did really well.

A few nights last week she told me her pee-pee hurt, and twice she actually cried when she was peeing. Since it only lasted a few nights (and only happened at night), I didn't think much of it.

Sunday at the baby shower, she did really well - no accidents. But she was going to the potty pretty frequently. Once, I asked her if she needed to potty and she did, then we barely made it out of the door before she said "I gotta pee-pee again!" But that time nothing came out. That's odd for her, but since she was otherwise acting fine, I brushed it off.

Yesterday when I picked her up, my MIL told me C had had 3 accidents that day. Pretty unusual for her. Then again, she had a busy weekend, my mother kept her on Friday, and we were at the beach Thursday. Sometimes a disruption in her normal schedule messes up her potty habits with my MIL. When that normally happens, she does just fine at home with me. So I again didn't think much of it.

Until I got home, and she had 5 accidents in the span of an hour and a half.

That is a lot of urinating! Each time it was just a small amount. Just like when she had her last UTI.

I can't say that I panicked, but I was on the edge. I feel so out of control when this happens. WHY does my baby keep getting UTIs??!

Next Monday, we have an appointment with a pediatric urologist at Duke. I'm hoping he can give us some answers.

In the meantime, I decided to go ahead and get a urine sample to her pediatric doctor. Last month, the nurse told me I could just bring in a sample without her being seen, but at the last minute, they changed their mind. (And then she got that terrible stomach bug from being in that germ-infested place.) So I brought the sample with me to work and called the peds. You have to leave a message for a nurse to call you back, and they usually call within an hour. 3 hours later I hadn't heard a thing, so I left another message.

This time, they called back pretty quickly. But the nurse said I had to bring her in. I insisted that I did not want to take her in, and explained that every single time I take her there, she comes home with a virus. That place is disgusting. Plus, we have to wait over an hour every time. Its just so stressful. I figured since they just saw her 3-4 weeks ago for this same issue, it wouldn't be a big deal to just test her urine.

Well, the nurse was kinda ugly on the phone, which brought out my inner Mama Bear. You don't want to be on the wrong side of that, trust me. I demanded that she ask the doctor and get back to me. Well, lo and behold, the doctor said it was fine to drop off a urine sample. But if it was positive, she wouldn't prescribe antibiotics without seeing C. Fine.

I dropped off the sample and told the nurse to call me. I explained to her that last month, the urine looked fine initially, but the culture grew, so to make sure to not discount it until tomorrow morning. She called me back in an hour and said the urine was fine. I asked had they cultured it and she said "umm....it got thrown away." WHAT!!

Let's just say that woman should be glad this happened over the phone and not in person. I was furious. I mean, really?! Why would you throw out a sample before you're done doing standard tests on it????!

For now, we're just gonna wait and see how C is tonight. If she's urinating a lot again, I'll try again with another sample tomorrow. Maybe it was just a one day thing, who knows.

It just doesn't seem normal to urinate that frequently and have nothing be wrong. Plus, we already know that her right kidney is swollen, and has been for at least 2 years now. My prayer is that this specialist on Monday can help us figure this out. Until then, please pray that C is okay and doesn't have an infection!

And yes, I have decided after this incident that I am DONE with her pediatric doctor. DoctorS, actually. Its a group practice. I love 2 of the physicians, but they are not worth all the headache I deal with every single time I go there. Last month, after the nurse called to confirm the UTI, I requested to speak to a doctor. The doctor that actually delivered me 30 years ago was who called me back. I've always liked him, until that day. When I asked him why C keeps having these UTIs, he was too nonchalant about it and brushed me off. When I requested a referral to a specialist, he tried to talk me out of it, saying a specialist wouldn't do anything. I had to demand a referral. He reluctantly gave me one, but I did not like his attitude. I am not the type of mother who rushes her child off to the doctor at every sniffle. (Hello, she had a cold for 5 weeks earlier this year, and I never even called the doctor cause I knew it was a cold.) But I trust my instincts, and so far they haven't led me wrong.

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