I have stayed away from blogging this week on purpose. I have a wonderful life that is full of blessings (I am extremely rich, and I don't mean in a monetary way!), but occasionally I get bogged down and discouraged by life. I'm sure everyone feels that way sometimes. Nothing major even has to happen, its just some mornings I wake up and feel like a complete failure, like I can't do anything right. Please tell me I'm not alone in these feelings!
Sometimes this "funk" lasts for days. I try to remember that God hasn't forgotten about me, that He still loves me no matter what and is there for me. But sometimes I am weak. I give in to the "funk" and let myself be in a foul mood and think negative thoughts. And then, He always does something to open my eyes to my sin, something that lifts me right out of the funk and back into His arms.
Its normally nothing big. Actually, sometimes I have to be looking really hard to see His hand at work! Then sometimes He'll practically slap me in the face with it.
Lately, He's been speaking to me through books. Last month, He led me to read a book that was life-changing. I'm working on a post about it, but it was so profound to me and has impacted me so deeply that I find I have a hard time putting my thoughts into written words. I want to make sure I have it right in my head before I put it to paper (er, computer).
This month, God has led me to another book. Actually, I was supposed to finish it last month (its part of the book club I'm participating in this year). But I had some days of the "funk" and I resisted reading what He laid in front of me. I knew it was for my own good, but I resisted anyway.
The other night, I decided to try to crawl out of the funk and I made myself read from this book again. Wow. Its like it was written for me, at this moment in my life. Again, I can't say much about it because I need to sort it out in my head first. I haven't finished the book yet anyway. But, thank GOD, I am out of the funk once again. As always, God was there for me and pulled me through.
You'd think eventually that wouldn't be necessary, that I'd learn not to let myself get to that point, huh? But no, I know I will always need Him to help me. I am weak and I am a sinner. But He has proven that with Him I can be anything. ( :
So I was avoiding blogging because I thought to myself, why blog about all these happy things when I don't feel happy right now? When I don't have everything together or figured out? Well, that's kind of the point of blogging for me. I don't have it all figured out. I don't have it all together. I'm working on it. I might not ever get there, but I am a work in progress. I've decided I don't need to have it together to be a blogger. I can be imperfect (human) and still blog about my life. And maybe this is better, because now I can share the story of how God works on me and in my life to make me more what He wants me to be.
Hopefully soon I'll have a chance to sort out my thoughts on these two books so that I can blog about them. I also have a long list of projects I want to tackle around the house. In the meantime, here's a picture that my husband took last night. C wanted to help me wash dishes. I let her rinse the easy items. ( :
Ain't she cute in her big girl panties? Potty training is going really well!!! ( :