Thoughts on the Birth Experience

I think I mentioned on the blog recently that I am currently expecting Baby #2. We found out a few weeks ago that it's another healthy girl! Everyone was shocked; this pregnancy is SO different from my last that we all just knew it was a boy. I can't say we're disappointed, though! She's healthy and that's really all that matters to us. Plus, now we don't have to stress about our living situation; C and the new baby can share a room easily. We don't even have to buy much at all for this kid!

Since C's birth was so intervention-ridden, I've really been focusing this time on having a completely natural labor and delivery. When I was pregnant with C, I was completely caught up in her progress every week, and spent hours each week reading about her development, and marveling at the changes my body was going though. Which is all well and good, but I didn't spend much time at all preparing for her birth. Huge mistake (for me, anyway). I know so many people who say, "oh, just go with it, get the drugs the doctors offer you, as long as you have a healthy baby nothing else matters." But you know what? Having a good birth experience matters to me, too. Having been down this road before, I know more of what to expect this time around. And I know that my body does not react well to the pain medication typically given during labor. I am at peace with C's birth, but I will always regret not becoming more educated beforehand.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not ignoring the miracle that is this child growing inside me! I worried for a while that I was focusing too much on the upcoming labor and that I wasn't taking time to just enjoy being pregnant. Thankfully, that's not the case anymore. Since I've done this once already, I don't feel the need to read all the pregnancy books or websites again. This time, I don't need to know which week her ears start working or when she's first able to smile in the womb. My belly is growing much faster than it did with C, and I marvel at that. And I absolutely love feeling this little one move around in there. I've been feeling her since week 15 very regularly. (I felt C move at 15 weeks, too, but not consistently.) She's very active! I truly do love being pregnant.

Well, I do NOT love this terrible hip pain associated with this pregnancy.  Its debilitating at times, which is concerning since I'm only at week 21. I had bad hip pain with C, too, but it didn't start until around week 30 and it was never debilitating at all. This time, my hip pain started (right side only) in week 10 and has progressively gotten worse. I see a chiropractor every 2 weeks, and I truly believe that is helping me, but its not alleviating the pain. I acquired some crutches this weekend, and once my friend Jessica finishes my super-cool crutch pads, I'll start walking with them at night when the pain is the worst. Hopefully, crutches will not become a full-time thing for me, but I've read it happens. I'm in pain literally all the time now, and I'm trying to stay upbeat, but sometimes its hard. But I digress.

When I first discovered I was pregnant, I immediately started doing research on natural birth. I read a LOT of stuff, and debated actually taking a class. Ultimately, I decided not to take a class at the hospital, as it will likely focus on the available drugs and hospital policies. Unless it is absolutely necessary, there will be no drugs in my system this time. I already know how they make me feel, and I don't like it.

For a while, I went back and forth between wanting to learn Lamaze or the Bradley Method. I've heard great things about both methods for natural childbirth. A friend of mine studied the Hypnobabies course while she was pregnant, and she said it was the only thing that got her through labor until she needed the spinal for her needed c-section. Hearing her talk about the program, I knew I wanted to at least look into it.

My friend lent me her course materials, and I dived right in. From the beginning of the book, I had a feeling this was the right method for me. Its still pretty weird for me to talk about (or even think about!), because its just SO different than what everyone else does. But I've never been one to just do what everyone else does. ( ;  Since I'm starting the course so early in my pregnancy, I'm focusing 2 weeks on each lesson. There are 5 lessons total, so this plan will get me through week 30. After that, I'll do the maintenance stuff, which I haven't read about in the book yet. My friend says the key is to practice often. So far, that's proven difficult, so I'm glad I'm giving 2 weeks to each lesson.

I started the course a week ago, and since then I've only been able to do 3 hypnosis sessions. They were amazing, though. I was hooked after the first one! I felt wonderful the entire session. I could hear what was going on around me, and knew that if need be, I could quickly "snap out of it," so to speak. (In fact, one time I had to do just that as DH interrupted me.) During the sessions, my body feels extremely heavy, but in a good way. Its almost like I have pain medication in my system, but I can stop it at any time. I think it'll really help during labor. Right now, I'm using it to help me manage my hip pain. If I could practice daily, I think it would be really beneficial. Hopefully, I will get into a routine with it so I can do it daily or at least every other day.

I'll be sure to post updates on the Hypnobabies course throughout the remainder of my pregnancy. It'll be interesting to see how other people react to my decision to use this method, since it is so different. I'm also curious to see if my feelings towards it change over the weeks. Right now, I feel awkward with it and like I should keep it a secret, but who knows, maybe soon I'll be an advocate. Ultimately, if it helps me have the natural birth I so desperately want, I don't care what anyone else thinks. After all, I'm the one who has to go through labor!!

Natural Family Planning - My Story Part 4

 Here’s Part 4 of my journey to Natural Family Planning (NFP). You can read Parts 1, 2, and 3 here, here, and here.

So now for the fun stuff! ( :

My immediate reaction to NFP was “what a bunch of hippies.” Lol! But that was my first reaction to everything “natural” – including cloth diapers and several other things that I now proudly do!

After I educated myself a bit, I realized that NFP is not just for hippies (snicker, snicker). Its for anyone who for whatever reason doesn’t want to take artificial birth control. Its for any woman who wants to understand her cycles better. It can be used for pregnancy achievement or prevention.

For me, learning about a woman’s cycles and finally understanding what my body does every month has been liberating. I know exactly when I’m ovulating, when I’m fertile, when I’m not fertile, when my period is about to arrive, everything. My cycles are not what I’d call normal (thanks to so many months on the mini pill – though I hope they even out eventually), but now that I’m tracking them and really paying attention, I don’t have surprises. If DH and I decided to have another baby, I’d know exactly which days we were most likely to achieve that. Since we’re trying to avoid (for now), I know exactly when we have to be careful and we don’t have to worry about it. Its great!

I highly recommend the book “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” by Toni Weschler. She also has a website, http://tcoyf.com/, that is very informative. If you really want to understand everything, though, the book can’t be beat. I borrowed a copy from my local La Leche League, though I’d love to have my own.

Practicing NFP is easy. Every morning before I get out of bed, I take my temperature with a digital thermometer. I leave it next to the bed, along with my iPhone. It only takes 2 minutes. I record the number in an app on my phone (its called Period Tracker). At some point during the day, I’ll check my cervical mucus to see what’s going on. At night, I’ll take out my NFP binder (just a plain binder I made to hold all my charts and some helpful info on NFP) and chart my waking temp and cervical mucus for the day. Easy peasy. If I feel ovulation pain, I’ll record that. When I’m on my period, I record that. When DH and I do the deed, I record that (that way, I’ll know exactly when we conceived if we ever do again – even though that’s not our goal right now, I am fully aware that accidents do happen!). It sounds like a lot of tedious record keeping, but I promise its not. This takes about 20 minutes a week. Probably less.

Understanding what all those records mean is a little trickier, but Toni Weschler’s book explains it very well. Seriously, go read it. You’ll be glad you did, if you’re even a little interested in this method of birth control (or pregnancy achievement!).

I’m so glad God pointed me to NFP. I feel SO much better – physically and mentally - since we started it. I think only 2 people know that we practice this method of birth control (until now, haha), but I’d love to tell everyone about it. What’s always held me back is the story of how I came to this decision. People don’t like to talk about abortion and the dangers of birth control. Maybe I could have just talked about NFP without telling my story, but to me that’s important.

So now you know a lot more about me than you probably cared to know, huh? Hopefully we can still be friends. ( : NFP is just one more thing I do in my attempt at a “crunchier” lifestyle!! ( :

Natural Family Planning - My Story Part 3

Here’s Part 3 of my journey to Natural Family Planning (NFP). You can read Parts 1 and 2 here and here.

                                                                    

This is where it gets controversial! Last summer (2012), I somehow stumbled upon some research on birth control pills and how they can possibly cause abortions. What?!! I am completely 100% against abortions, so I started reading. I found this book, “Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions?” and bought it on my Kindle. I was shocked at what I read. Of course, I read a bunch of other stuff, too, but even knowing that this is a possibility had me horrified.

Basically, the pill works several ways to prevent pregnancy. One way it works is by thickening the cervical mucus so that sperm have a harder time getting through to the awaiting egg. That’s a very simplified explanation, but you get the gist (hopefully). The pill also is supposed to inhibit ovulation, though many women still ovulate while on the pill. A third way the pill works is by changing the endometrium to reduce the likelihood of implantation.

Stay with me here, I’m tryin not to get too technical. That all sounds well and good. You’re not supposed to ovulate on the pill, and if you do, don’t worry cause your cervical mucus has hopefully been changed to be basically hostile to sperm. And if that fails, still don’t fret about pregnancy because your uterus has been changed so that it is now hostile to a fertilized egg. Wait. What? An already fertilized egg? Yep.

This is where the true controversy lies. Your reaction to this depends on your opinion on where life begins. At conception (which is when the egg is fertilized) or at implantation (which is when it beds down into the uterine wall and sets up camp for pregnancy).

My view is that life begins at conception. If your view is different, I’m not saying its wrong.

So the pill, if the first 2 birth control mechanisms fail, is designed to prevent the fertilized egg from making its home in the uterus, effectively killing it. (Because it has to attach to the uterine wall to get nutrients to survive, it can’t live in there on its own.) If you say life begins at implantation, then this is not a problem for you. The fertilized egg never implanted, so life wasn’t destroyed, just an egg. But if you’re like me and say that life begins at conception, when sperm and egg meet and their respective DNAs combine to make something new, then this should be a huge problem, if you’re against abortion. It was for me, at least.

Even though I knew the chance of the birth control pill’s first two mechanisms failing and conception occurring were extremely low, in my mind there’s still a possibility, and I couldn’t bear the thought of aborting my child, whether intentionally or not. I also know that plenty times birth control pills fail completely, resulting in a term pregnancy. But if there’s any chance at all that my baby could be aborted due to the pill, I couldn’t keep taking it.

After much prayer, I decided to stop taking the mini pill last summer. I knew DH and I needed another method of “birth control,” though, so I started new research. That’s when I found out about Natural Family Planning/Fertility Awareness.

Part 4 coming soon…

Natural Family Planning - My Story Part 2

Here’s Part 2 of my journey to Natural Family Planning (NFP). You can read Part 1 here.

The IUD seemed like the answer to all our prayers. I knew lots of people who had one, and a few friends who were either thinking about it like me, or who had just gotten one. I called my doctor and found out everything I needed to know to move forward – or so I thought. I found out when I could make the appointment, how it would be handled with our insurance, what I could expect, etc. They didn’t tell me anything negative, which I thought was odd, so I started my research.

What I found terrified me.

Of course, if you do a google search on anything, you’ll find horror stories. I read stories about the IUD getting stuck in the uterus. I heard stories about intense pain during the procedure to put it in, and some stories that talked about pain that never subsided. I read about infections due to the IUD. I read all the negative side effects of it (similar to pills). Then I read about the risk of pregnancy. Granted, it’s a very minimal risk, but like all birth control the IUD is not 100% effective. And if a pregnancy were to occur, chances are the IUD would make it impossible for the fetus to survive. I couldn’t live with that possibility.

After all my research (this was in November of 2011), I decided that the IUD was not for me. I’d be constantly worried that I would get pregnant and my baby would be killed. Maybe that’s an irrational fear, but it was enough to make my mind up. DH agreed with me. So, after more research, we decided to try the mini pill, since I was still breastfeeding.

C was not quite a year old when I started the mini pill. I hated it right away, but I know you should give a pill 3 months to let your body get used to it, so I stuck it out. I figured if it did decrease my supply, it wouldn’t be a big deal since C was eating solids a lot and was right a year, so I wouldn’t feel the need to supplement with formula. Fortunately, the pill had no effect on my milk, or none that we noticed. C did cut back on breast milk a lot in December 2011, but that was because she decided she only liked her milk straight from the source! She refused to drink expressed milk anymore, which was fine with me since it meant I could quit pumping. (Obviously, that was a fine idea since she’s now 26 months old and still nursing!)

Anyway, I noticed some side effects of the mini pill that I didn’t like, but it didn’t affect my milk and DH was happy that we didn’t have to be so careful all the time. But I was right back in the same boat I was in years ago – my cycles were crazy again. After 2 months of being on the mini pill, I had a 14 day period. That is not cool with me. Then another month, I thought for sure the pill had failed and I was pregnant, cause I didn’t have a period. Several pregnancy tests later, I finally realized that I was not pregnant, just irregular again. Great.

I was determined to stick it out, though, for the sake of my husband. And I really thought eventually my body would adjust and my cycles would be normal again. When I went for my yearly checkup last year, my doctor was happy that I had finally decided to get on the pill again, but he told me as soon as I quit breastfeeding to let him know, so I could get on a “real” birth control pill. That rubbed me the wrong way. Another comment he made basically told me that he thought since my child was over a year I should stop breastfeeding. Anyone who knows me knows that I am extremely defensive about breastfeeding a toddler (I’ve had to deal with some very rude comments about it), so of course I didn’t like hearing that from a medical professional. I told him that I would be doing what was best for my baby, end of story.

Fast forward a few more months. I was still miserable on the mini pill. C didn’t seem like she was anywhere near weaning (which was fine with me), so it didn’t look like I’d be able to try another type any time soon. I wish I could remember how I stumbled across the next thing I learned, but for the life of me I can’t.

Part 3 coming soon…

Natural Family Planning - My Story Part 1

Oh, boy. Here we go. This can be a touchy subject, so I avoid talking about it most of the time. Birth control is a very personal topic, and people tend to get defensive on topics like this. Yet here I am, sharing my opinion on the issue!

My husband and I practice Natural Family Planning (NFP). This idea goes by many names (Fertility Awareness Method is another popular name), but NFP is the one I decided I liked best. Its something we've been practicing for about 8 months now, so I am by no means an expert. I also know that many, many women are totally happy popping birth control pills every day, or taking a shot every 6 months or whatever. I say, whatever floats your boat! So please don't think this post is some sort of PSA designed to tell women that I think they're stupid for using birth control. I'm just sharing my story! ( :

FYI: This story is long, so I'm splitting it up. Also, if you read this you will learn a lot about me that you might not want to know, haha, so be warned! ( :

I started taking birth control pills when I was 18 or 19. My cycles were extremely random - some months, I'd have 2 periods, some months I wouldn't have one at all. I just never knew what to expect. I thought that was normal (well, it was normal for me), so I never talked to anyone about it or sought help for it. Finally, I mentioned it to a friend and she urged me to go see a "woman doctor." Well, of course, the gynecologist immediately started me on birth control to regulate my cycles. Thankfully, it worked. But it didn't take me long to realize that the pill wasn't working for me other than to regulate my cycles.

For the next 8 years, I stayed on birth control, trying basically every type of pill available. I'd give each one a try for at least 5-6 months before making a decision about it. But every single one gave me terrible side effects. Some made my periods almost unbearable (cramping), some made my periods super-long (like 18 days), some made me way too emotional or just plain mean (thanks, Yaz). Apparently, I am extremely sensitive to hormone levels!

I never tried the patch or the ring or the shot. I don't even know if the patch is still available, but a girl I used to know tried it and went swimming and it came off. How is that effective?? The ring always freaked me out. Plus I'd heard horror stories of it getting stuck in there...yikes. And I didn't like the shot for several reasons. One, its kinda long-term, so if I was on the shot and wanted to get pregnant, I'd have to wait for it to get out of my system. Two, everyone I know who tried Depo gained a ton of weight. No, thanks. Three, the shot increases your risk of getting osteoporosis. Since that runs in my family, I figure I'm already at enough of a risk, so I won't be intentionally doing anything to up that.

I know that leaves the IUD, and I'll get to that in a minute.

The summer after I got married, I had had enough of birth control and screwing my hormone levels up. I talked it over with my husband, and we decided to let my body take a break from the pills. Immediately, I felt better. My cycles were normal, I stopped having all the highs and lows, everything was just better. We weren't quite ready for a baby yet, so we were just careful. That winter, we decided a baby would be nice, so we stopped being careful. We figured it would take a while to get pregnant. (I mean, all you hear is stories of women who try for years before they get pregnant. Plus I'd been on birth control for so long, I figured some of that was bound to be left in me for a while. Plus my doctor told me if I was able to get pregnant, it might be hard due to some other issues I had years ago.) Well, we were pretty surprised when I got pregnant the following March! (Or maybe early April, we're not sure. I found out in April.)

So, obviously, I had a nice long break from birth control pills - from the summer of 2009 at least until I had C in December of 2010. Of course, while I was still in the hospital, my doctor gave me a prescription for birth control. I think that one was for the mini pill since he knew I planned to breastfeed, but I never got it filled. I didn't do much research while I was pregnant, but thankfully I quickly learned a lot after C was born. One thing I learned was that even the mini pill can impact your milk supply (even though its not supposed to). One of my friends was having no problems breastfeeding, and then she started the mini pill and she dried up. I wasn't about to let that happen to me. If nothing else, I knew I wanted to breastfeed for as long as possible. (Plus, let's be real. I had just had a baby, sex was the last  thing on my mind! haha) So I never got the prescription filled. When I went for my 6 week checkup my doctor was kind of rude about it and made me feel stupid for not being on birth control yet. He basically said that without it, I'd be knocked up again soon. Um, hello, I know how not to get pregnant! I ignored his urging to get on the mini pill and went about my business.

I had my first postpartum cycle 17 weeks after C was born. I was kinda mad that I only got 17 weeks and I was exclusively breastfeeding! I kept reading about how all these mamas didn't have a period to return for almost a year or more. Oh, well. I was happy that my cycles were extremely regular now. I didn't know I could be so regular on my own! I could set my clock to my cycles, it was awesome.

Well, after months of having to be careful all the time (because I knew nothing about a woman's fertility), DH understandably got tired of it and started asking me to please consider birth control again. I thought a little more freedom would be nice, too. I looked seriously into getting an IUD. In fact, I called my insurance company and found that if I got it by the end of the year I wouldn't have to pay a dime! It seemed like a sign to me, like all the stars had aligned for me to get an IUD. It would be free to us, I could have birth control without having to take a pill every day, and it could last up to 5 years, but could be taken out at any time to get pregnant. It seemed too good to be true!

Part 2 coming soon....

Hello and welcome!

Hey ya'll! I'm Nikki. Being an obsessive blog reader for quite some time now (we won't go into details about just how obsessive I am...!), I decided it was high time I started my own blog. (I've actually had one for years, but its become more of a diary of sorts, so its terribly boring to everyone but me.) Here, you'll find a wide mix of topics, including country life, crunchy living (more on that later), food, cleaning, health/beauty, parenting, and much more -  basically, whatever interests me. ( :

To start, here's a little background info on me. I live in a very rural area of North Carolina, born and raised here. I got married back in 2009 to my sweetheart, who would probably prefer to remain anonymous for now. We had our first child in 2010, and she is currently 19 months old (my, how time flies!!). The husband and I both work full-time, and I am blessed with a good mother-in-law who keeps my daughter. We live on a farm of sorts. We have horses, cows, chickens, ducks, and rabbits. And the standard dogs and cats. And a garden. The husband does a little crop farming on the side, and he runs a side business as well (yeah, he stays busy!). I sell Mary Kay on the side, too, though I'm not very successful at it, if truth be told. Oh, and I teach horseback riding lessons, as well.

Having a baby completely changed me. I know lots of people say that, but I can honestly say that every aspect of my life has changed (in a good way) since she's been born. I've learned so much about myself, my marriage, and life. I've become crunchy. (Like I said, more on that later!) I've become so many things I never dreamed I'd be, but I love it. I certainly don't claim to have it all figured out, but I invite you to join me on my journey to learn more. I'm constantly learning ways to be "green," save money, be a better mother, be a better wife, and be a godly woman. (Yep, I'm a Christian.) Its taken me a long time to realize I needed to make some changes in my life, but now I've jumped in with both feet and I'm lovin it! God's got an awesome plan for me, and I'm doing my best to be what He wants me to be.

Stick around, you might learn somethin useful with me along the way. At any rate, you're sure to be entertained! ( :