Weekend Recap

Is anyone else completely bummed that its Monday again? I know I can't be alone here.  ( ;

This weekend was awesome, and it flew by way too fast (as weekends generally do).

Saturday was a busy but relaxing day for me. How can it be both busy and relaxing, you ask? Well, I got a lot of housework done, which means I stayed at home all day. I'm always relaxed at home. ( : I've been really slack lately about getting any cleaning done during the week; the past 2 Saturdays I've had to do some major cleaning. This week I'm gonna try to get back on track and clean a little each day so I can have more play time on Saturdays.

Cleaning time kept getting interrupted due to chickens. Yep, you read that right - chickens! DH has been selling a lot of chickens lately, and Saturday he brought home 25 to resale (resell? hmm...). So while I was cleaning up inside, he was rigging up a temporary holding pen for them. Well, I guess the first time he didn't make the pen quite sturdy enough, because quite a few chickens escaped. He called me to come outside and me and C helped him round them back up. Chicken wrangling is fun, let me tell you. Later, it happened again! I think they were flying out. DH and his brother came home to pick up a tool or something and noticed some more chickens were out. Luckily, we caught them all and they didn't escape anymore. So far, DH has sold all of them but 5, and he thinks they'll be sold this week. He's makin money so I can't complain!

Saturday afternoon when C woke up from her nap, I took her to my mama's house. Normally, I stay with her so I can visit with my grandma, but this time I dropped her off and headed back home. And I rode Sunshine! I haven't rode her in a couple of weeks, so I was curious as to how she'd do with cantering. I rode her in the back pasture (which is about 5 acres total) and she did great. We cantered quite a bit! She picked up both leads with no hesitation. Her right lead was very ugly, though. It felt like her back legs weren't extending like they should. So obviously she has some tightness in that ligament still. But its such an improvement from where she was! I know if I was able to ride her more often she'd be so much better. Normally my riding picks up in the fall, so I should be having more saddle time soon. ( :

Yesterday we headed to the coast. Somehow, its September and we've only been to the beach twice all summer. (The 3 of us went back in May for our vacation - to the Outer Banks - and then me and C had a girls' day at the beach a month or so ago. We went to the Pamlico River a few times in July, but that's not really the beach so it doesn't count.) Considering how growing up I was at the beach practically every weekend all summer, it amazes me that I haven't been more often. Especially now that I've finally found a sunscreen that doesn't get me sunburned (Mary Kay!). Not having a place to stay this year has been the main issue, though. My parents sold their place last year, and we can't afford to get a hotel room all the time. Anyway, maybe next year we'll make it out there more often.

We decided to head to Topsail Island/Surf City. My uncle has a trailer there and we planned to use his private outdoor shower to change into our bathing suits. Luckily, when I called my uncle to ask permission to do that, he told me where his key was hidden and said for us to go on in and make ourselves at home. ( : We spent a couple of hours on the beach when we got there, then headed back to the trailer and got cleaned up a bit. We had a nice lunch at my favorite restaurant at Surf City - Island Delights. After that, C took a nap on the couch at the trailer and me and DH enjoyed quiet time - and I enjoyed not having to hold C while she napped!!

Late yesterday evening, we headed back to the beach for a sunset stroll. We went to the south end of the island and it was truly magical. The beach just has a different feel on that end; the sand is softer somehow. The light was gorgeous with the setting sun, and there were very few people out there. We walked for quite some time and C picked up seashells the whole time. It was perfect.

The whole day was just perfect. The weather was beautiful - not too hot, but warm enough we could get in the water without freezing. We laughed all day and made some good memories. And I didn't get sunburned! All in all, it was an awesome day.

It sure has made today miserable, though!! I hope everyone else had a great weekend! ( :

Good Weekend

Not much to report here. Which is actually good, cause it means I haven't been running around like a chicken with its head cut off like I normally am (and who came up with that expression anyway?? Its awful!).

We did have a somewhat busy weekend. Well, really just yesterday was busy. Saturday, not much happened, thankfully. Me and C slept in, which was heavenly. After breakfast, DH came and picked her up and they spent a few hours together. (That sounds like we're separated, doesn't it? Nope. He's just gone usually on Saturdays - working. This weekend he was feeding a friend's animals, so C went with him to do that Saturday, and then they just hung out at his business together.) Meantime, I got some cleaning done at the house. Much-needed cleaning, trust me! When DH and C got home, it was time for C's nap, but of course she wouldn't go to sleep. I did spend an hour laying down with her trying, though. Not that I minded the trying; I was doped up on Benadryl all day, so I welcomed the rest! (Yep, I got a little sunburned on my neck after our beach day, so I've had a bit of an allergic reaction. Nothing terrible though, thankfully.)

It was super hot and humid Saturday. So much so that I didn't want to be outside at all. Around 5 I did take C to my mother-in-law's house to go swimming. That was fun. My child is like a fish in the water! Whoever invented arm floaties, I salute you. Though I wonder if they'll make it harder for her to learn hold herself up in the water without them...?

And that was our day. We had a super simple supper (thanks, Hamburger Helper), and C was asleep by 8:30 (thanks, no nap!). Of course, she didn't stay asleep that early. :/ I put her in the crib and she woke back up, so I ended up rocking her until 11pm - yawn. While I was doing that, DH was in the kitchen cutting up fruit.

We helped DH's mother host a baby shower yesterday for DH's brother and his wife. They're expecting a boy in September. I love my MIL so I wanted to help as much as possible. And DH is all about helping his mama, which I think is so sweet. Plus, both of us absolutely love stuff like this. People are always telling us we should go into the catering business. We'd love to, actually.

When DH's brother got married, we took over the bridal shower. My MIL is not good at stuff like that, so she just took directions from us. We went a little overboard, but I have to say we laid out an impressive spread. I have some catering background; growing up, my parents owned 2 restaurants, so I was a waitress for years and years. My dad also did some catering on the side, and I liked to go help him. I guess DH just naturally has the talent, cause he doesn't have any professional experience. He's good, though.  ( :

One of DH's cousins got married last fall, and she actually wanted us to do the food for her wedding. We almost took the job, but in the end decided it would be too stressful, since we would have to miss the actual wedding, and C was the flower girl so that wasn't happening!

So when my MIL asked for our help with this baby shower, we of course said yes. We were mainly in charge of fruit, but we organized and arranged/decorated everything. I wasn't able to help much with the cutting of the fruit, since I was stuck in the rocking chair for hours and hours. Once we got to the church yesterday, I set about arranging the food table, deciding what should go where, and which bowl/platter should be for what food. DH was busy making an adorable baby carriage out of a watermelon, and a beautiful fruit platter (which I had to help him with, haha - he doesn't quite have the eye that I do for stuff like that!). I was really proud of how it all turned out:

Terrible picture, really doesn't do any of it justice. But I just grabbed my iPhone and snapped a quick shot. And that's the only picture I took all day yesterday. Before people started showing up for the shower, I was too busy running around making sure everything was like I wanted it (I'm sure that was annoying to some people, but oh well, haha), and then once people arrived I was busy talking and making sure none of the food or punch ran out. After the shower was over, we all pitched in and had the church cleaned up pretty quickly. That's the worst part of doing stuff like this. I should have taken a picture of my kitchen table! DH and I supplied most of the serving dishes and platters, so when we got home we piled everything up on the table. And its still sitting there. We were just too tired to deal with it last night. Guess that's my project for tonight...yay.

Normally, events like these leave us pretty stressed out, which means tempers are flaring and we end up mad at each other. Yesterday was just fun, though. I don't know why, but this really brought me and DH closer together and we just laughed and joked with each other all day. Once the shower started, DH stayed in the kitchen so he could be ready to mix up more punch quickly, so I kept sneaking back there to see him and steal kisses - it felt like we were dating again. ( :

So yeah, I'd definitely say we had a good weekend. We need more like this! Well, not more showers to do for family, since we spent so much money on it. We don't have anything planned for this week or next weekend. I'm hoping for a relaxing week, and maybe I can convince DH to spend Saturday at the beach or something. ( :

The Gift

I figured I'd do an updated post on my ring situation. To refresh your memory, I lost my engagement ring several weeks ago. I filed a police report so that if anyone tried to pawn it, the police would be able to get it. I placed an ad in the local paper that ran for a week. And nothing worked out. Its still possible that someone will try to pawn it, but I'm betting that it was never found.

I'm still kicking myself for losing my ring. I mean, really, how irresponsible was that move? :( But what's done is done, and there's no sense in dwelling on it. My dear husband wasn't nearly as mad as I thought he'd be, bless his soul. He said at first that I wouldn't be getting a new ring, and I totally understood and told him that I agreed. I didn't want just any ring; I wanted my ring! Yes, my ring was pretty, but it wasn't just the diamond that I cherished. That ring reminded me every time I looked at it of our love, of the night he proposed to me, and of how much we've been through together.

But you know what? I realized I didn't need a piece of jewelry to remind me of those things. The memories are still there. In fact, one of our favorite things to talk about as a couple is the story of how we met and got together, and then I love to tell about the night he proposed.

The point is, even though I was (and am) still upset about losing my ring, I was totally okay with not having a new one. I mean, I still had my wedding band, and that's really the important one, right? Since it shows the world that you are married/taken.

Well, that wasn't good enough for my husband! I think I've said before that he's a great gift-giver. In fact, gift-giving is part of his love language, I've learned; he doesn't like to receive gifts much but he loves to give them as an expression of his love. Gift-giving is not in my love language at all, and I am not one to demand expensive jewelry from my man, but I know how to appreciate beautiful jewelry! And I know how to be thankful for anything he gives me, since I know his motivation. Luckily for me, he makes it easy to love his gifts. I don't think he's ever given me anything that I didn't love. Lately, he's been on a jewelry kick. For the past several holidays, he's really piled the bling on me, haha.

So this year, my birthday and Mother's Day fell on the same day. Everyone told me DH probably had bought me a new ring, but I had told him several times not to do that. I honestly thought he listened to me. I had asked for some smaller (and less expensive) things for him to get me, so that's what I expected. He fooled me! The night before my birthday, I could tell he couldn't stand it any longer. He'd been trying for several days to make me open my present, but I kept saying no. I finally gave in and told him to let me have it.

I was pretty surprised to see a gorgeous new ring in that box! The new ring looks exactly like my old one, except its bigger. The old one was 3/4 karat and the new one is a whole karat. I've been wearing it since then and it still feels huge on my finger, haha.

Ain't it pretty? Its the same size as my wedding band, which is too big for my ring finger. I'm actually gonna try to go today and get it sized down a little.

My husband is too good to me, for real. I've been joking since my birthday that I wonder what other diamond I could lose to get a bigger one! But of course I would never intentionally "lose" any of my jewelry.

That whole weekend was just great. I wondered how I'd feel about turning 30. But as I suspected, it didn't bother me at all. I don't feel any older, and I'm not sad to not be a 20-something anymore. I'm truly happy with myself and my life right now, so why should I mourn getting older? Especially when so many people will never see 30. I'm grateful and happy. ( :

However, this does remind me! I am not happy with a certain Amazon seller right now. I had picked out a tripod kit for my camera on Amazon back in April, and asked DH to get it for my birthday/Mother's Day. It was around $30 and he said for me to order it since he doesn't have an Amazon account. I placed the order and had it shipped to his work so I wouldn't be tempted to open the box when it came in. Well, I tracked the package every day and on the delivery say, UPS updated the page to say it was being returned to the sender due to an incorrect address. What?! I used the address on the USPS website. I contacted the seller and he/she assured me that it would be sent again as soon as they got it back (in California). Well, its been almost a month and supposedly the seller doesn't have the package yet. I don't quite believe this, but I'm not sure what to do. My credit card has been charged and I have demanded a refund, though I haven't been issued one yet. I'm gonna contact the seller again today and see what happens. I guess my next step is to report it to Amazon? I'm not sure. I've never had this happen before. But this is exactly why I'm always hesitant to purchase anything online. :/

Anyway, I'm at the start of a 3 day weekend and I am ecstatic to have an extra day off work. I desperately need a vacation. We're not going anywhere this weekend, but it'll still feel like a mini-vacation just being able to stay home so long. Every weekend for a while now we've had a zillion things to go and places to be, so I am really gonna enjoy not having to leave the house unless I just want to. ( :

One of my college friends is on her way to spend the day with me and C, actually. I'm lookin forward to spending some time with her. I was her matron of honor when she got married and I was 7 months pregnant, and I've only seen her once since then! After she got married and finished dental school, she moved a few hours away, so its been hard for us to get together, though we've stayed in touch. I'm not sure what we'll do today, but if I can get someone to watch C I bet we'll hop on the horses for a bit! Here's to a relaxing, enjoyable weekend!! ( :

On Being A Mother

Today I read a blog post by a friend of mine in which she talked about how she had no desire for children before she actually had one. It was so timely because all weekend I've been planning my next blog post in my head, and that was basically the topic! Great minds... ( :

I used to babysit a lot when I was younger. I have three younger cousins (who are now almost grown up - one is even married!) that I used to keep every day after school until my aunt and uncle got home from work. For a few summers, I kept them all day as well. The "job" first began out of necessity and I of course hated having to watch my little cousins all the time. But eventually I came to love it, and we all had the best time together (I remember once cooking them tacos for lunch, and one of them told me I was the best babysitter ever...haha). I babysat other kids in the neighborhood, as well, and when I went to college I sat a few times here and there.

At one point during college I worked at a daycare. On the days I didn't have class, I had the three-year-olds all day, but most of the time I had those precious ones and then all the after-schoolers (who were complete hellions, I might add!). That experience kind of turned me off from kids. I think I had way too many in my class (around 19), and I had such a big range in ages (from 3 to 12), plus I had several special-needs kids (one 5 year old was still in diapers and was basically a baby). I was in no way prepared to handle any of that. I wasn't going to school to work with children, and I certainly had no idea how to handle the special-needs ones. It was extremely stressful every day at work. The point is, after dealing with all those rowdy youngins at the daycare, I had no desire to ever have my own.

I figured eventually I'd have a child or two, because that's just what you do when you're married (right?), but no way would it be before I was in my 30s. DH wanted kids but he was in no hurry, either. After we got married people immediately began asking us when we were gonna have a baby (don't you hate that? Maybe its just a southern thing, where everyone feels they have a right to know all your personal business!). We talked about it and decided we definitely weren't ready.

And then one day, baby fever struck me.

I don't even know what triggered it. I can't remember a specific event. Just one day, I wasn't ready for a child, and then the next, I was. Simple as that. I told DH, who was pretty nonchalant about it - he'd be happy either way. So in December, we threw caution to the wind and said if I got pregnant, so be it. But both of us firmly believed it would take a while. (That's all you hear about, people who take forever to get pregnant, especially people like me who had been on birth control for years and years.) In my mind, we'd be pregnant in about a year.

God had other plans for us! I was pregnant by March, and discovered it in April. Woah! Suddenly it all got real. We were both shocked (and looking back, how stupid was that?? I mean, what did we expect to happen? haha). I honestly believed it would take a while to get pregnant, and I kind of had a feeling I wouldn't be able to conceive. Thankfully, we were both thrilled, too. We didn't waste much time telling everyone we knew about the baby on the way. I documented my whole pregnancy - I made a scrapbook with weekly baby bump pictures. (I am so glad I did that, too! I love looking back and seeing how huge I was.) DH thought it was kinda weird that I did that, but I told him that one day our baby would look at that book and think, wow, my mama was so excited to be carrying me, and so looking forward to meeting me!! 

38 weeks and HUGE! lol

There was a lot I didn't know before C was born (and yes, I'm aware that there's still a lot I don't know now!), but I played it by ear (like I do everything in life), and learned as I went. I used to be scared of newborns - they look so fragile. But the first time I held C in my arms, I knew exactly what to do. Once the nurse showed me how to hold her to my breast and she latched on, it felt like we'd been breastfeeding forever. Everything just felt so natural.

moments after birth ( :

 Oh, sure, we had our moments! C had to spend an extra few days in the hospital due to jaundice, and that first night home was rough. DH and I had no idea what to do when she screamed all night, which she did. We got absolutely no sleep. And the next morning, we fumbled through her first bath by us. And just a few days later, when C's eye got really gunked up, I had to call over my mother-in-law to show me how to take her temperature rectally because I was terrified I'd puncture her bowel. So please don't think that I'm saying I haven't had any challenges as a mother, because that is far from the case!! (I won't even talk about the fact that when she reached 2 or 3 weeks of age, C screamed her head off every night for 3-4 hours for about 3 weeks straight. Nothing we did would calm her.)

Becoming a mother has changed me - for the better. I know everyone says that. But I honestly feel like a better person now. I have more patience (not perfect patience, by any stretch of the imagination, but I am much better than I used to be!). I am more tender and loving. I am less of a cynic (though that part of me does remain). I have learned to rely on myself less and on God more - and yes, I know other people learn that without having a baby, but it took a baby to teach me that one. I eat healthier (pregnancy and breastfeeding makes you think about someone other than yourself!). I am greener/crunchier. Everything is just better. And I have my daughter to thank (well, God, really, but you know what I mean!).

C makes me stop my busy-ness and just enjoy the simple things in life. I love seeing things through her eyes. I love watching her experiencing new things, because it makes them new to me again, too. Just the other day, we saw a ladybug and C said it was beautiful. Well, yes it is. I'd just never thought about it.

The most amazing thing to me is how I finally, finally feel like I've found my place in this world - as a mother. If you had told me that just 5 years ago, I would have laughed in your face. But its true.

In high school, most of my friends knew exactly what they wanted to do with their life - nurse, dental hygienist, mechanic, etc. Not me. I didn't even want to go to college, but my parents insisted. I had no clue what I wanted to do or be. As a result, I fumbled through 5 years of college before completing a degree - in Animal Science, of all things. After graduation, I still had no idea what to do with my degree. My first job was working at a hog farm, and that lasted about 2 weeks. Then I got a job at a pathology laboratory at a big turkey company. I hated it (though I was blessed to make some awesome friends there), but I stayed there for 3 years, until the company downsized and I was laid off. I eventually went back to school and got a Master's degree in Business Administration (mainly to please my dad - he's so proud to have a daughter with an advanced degree!). I've been at my current job for 3 years now, and I really like it. I have the best boss ever, and I really do like my work. And I'm good at my job. But I have always felt just a little off, like I'm not quite not where I need to be - in every job I've ever had. (The closest I felt to right was back in college when I managed a horse farm and worked at 2 others - I still miss that!)

 It hit me this weekend that being a mother is the job for me. I long to do it full-time, and maybe some day I will (God-willing). Even if I don't ever get to be a full-time mama, I will always revel in the moments I get to be with my child(ren). I really feel like I'm in my element then. I don't feel like I have it all under control as a mama, and I don't feel like I don't ever need any help. I do feel like I'm doing a good job and I'm doing what God's called me to do. I feel like I'm finally in my element. So thank you, God, for this blessing of being a mama. I wish I was more eloquent with my words. Hopefully I've conveyed some of my feelings adequately enough here! ( :

Being A Help Meet For Your Husband: Initial Thoughts

In January I was introduced to a book that turned out to be life-changing for me. I've mentioned it several times since then, but haven't felt quite ready to really talk about it yet. I plan to read the book again, but haven't made the time to do it yet, though I think about it almost daily - that's how much of an impact its made on me!

The book is called Created To Be His Help Meet: Discover How God Can Make Your Marriage Glorious by Debi Pearl. I bought it for my Kindle, but you can get it in paper form, as well. One of the many blogs I follow, Baby Chaser, posted at the beginning of this year about how she enjoys mentoring other couples in their marriages. In her post, she talked about how she mentored a friend and gave her this book to read. This blogger is always going on about her "Beloved" (her husband) and how she's always bending over backwards (it seems to me) to please him. I really enjoy her blog and have always thought she had some great ideas. But all this "Beloved" talk was so strange to me. Even though I thought her ideas towards marriage were old-fashioned/impractical/what-have-you, something about that one post called to me. I firmly believe that God speaks to us in all sorts of manners, and I do believe that He uses technology these days! My point is, I felt like God was pointing me to that particular post, which talked about this particular book. Like He was telling me to read this book.

I'll admit, I was very skeptical at first. I'm human; I'm hesitant to really open myself up to Him and let Him in. Sometimes He has to almost hit me over the head with something and make me listen. I downloaded a free sample to my Kindle and didn't touch it for several days. Okay, God, its on my Kindle, I'll get to it eventually. See? I did it. But that wasn't good enough for Him. He kept putting his on my heart and on my mind, so finally I gave in and started reading. I was hooked from the Table of Contents. Seriously. I could tell just by glancing at chapter titles that this was a book HE wanted me to read, and read NOW.

Here's a sample of chapter titles: "So He Isn't Mr. Right;" "The Queen of His Heart;" "Make Love Fun;" "God's Blueprint for Marriage;" "Practice Makes 'Awful' Perfectly Awful;" "Three Kinds of Men;" "God Made Them That Way;" "Marriage Made in Heaven;" "Eve Has Many Sisters;" "How To Be A Good Wife Today;" "I'm About To Have A Nervous Breakdown;" "Raising Cows or Kids;" "The Wife Does Make a Difference;" "Is There Hope Yet?" Get the idea? This book covers a lot of topics and issues. As I was reading, I kept coming up with questions, and Mrs. Pearl answered all my questions before the book was over.

Before I go any further, let me just say that I have been praying for a really long time for God to work in my marriage. I love my dear husband with all my heart, but I knew our marriage was not where it needed to be. I prayed and prayed for God to change it, to change me. I didn't know exactly what I was praying for, I just knew things needed to be different. I knew that somehow, God wanted more for us. (My marriage is still not there yet, and I know that it will be a constant work-in-progress, just like anything worth having in life. But it is better by leaps and bounds, I will tell you!)

I will also say that my husband is a good man. He does not abuse me, he would never cheat on me, he does not watch pornography or do anything else that is morally wrong. He loves me and he loves our daughter, and I know he'd lay down his life for either of us. He's a good man, plain and simple. So its not like I started reading this book hoping for help with dealing with an abusive mate or needing to know how to love him even though he loves porn. I feel for women out there who are dealing with situations like that. My marriage is just a typical marriage, we have typical, normal problems, but nothing that is a "deal breaker."

We love each other, but for a few years now I've felt like I wasn't doing quite enough in my role as wife. There was something out there that was just beyond my reach. I didn't even know what it was, I just knew it was out there. I know now that was God talking to me. He has been (and still is) patiently guiding me to where I need to be. (I'm sure now He's like whew! Finally! She's on the right track! haha)

Before DH and I got married, we were required to attend some premarital counseling with both our preachers (they both married us). I remember we went to those sessions thinking what a waste of time it was. Obviously, we knew each other pretty well, or we wouldn't be getting married! We each knew where the other stood on the important issues, and even most of the unimportant ones. I wish now we had really taken that opportunity to learn more about what it really means to be married. Our counseling sessions didn't turn up anything that was alarming to either of us. The preachers did try to make sure we knew what we were getting into, but we just nodded and smiled and thought that nothing would ever happen to us, we loved each other and that was enough. I'm sure lots of couples go into marriage thinking that.

Photo from our wedding day. EL Photography

 But marriage is hard. If you want to be successful at it, you have to work at it every single day. Its easy to be stubborn and selfish and unloving, and do things your way and pay no regard to your spouse's feelings. That's human nature. Its my nature, at least. I was always told to guard my heart, make sure my spouse loved me more than I loved him because you just never know what can happen. But that is wrong. That's not what God wants for us in marriage at all. Marriage is a constant give and take, and in a marriage both spouses should be equals. And ultimately (and this was the life-changing part for me, because I had never thought about it this way), marriages should glorify God.

So let's get back to the book. Mrs. Pearl reminds us of what the Bible says in Genesis 2:18, 21-22:

"And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him... And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam... and he took one of his ribs... And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man." 

Right there, God tells us women that we are to be help meets for our husbands. Exactly what that phrase means is the question, and we'll get to that. I love how God tells us that he made woman from Adam's rib - a part of his body that is at his side. Woman wasn't made from something on Adam's back, so she would stand behind him, or something from his front, so she would stand ahead of him. Woman was created to walk by man's side, to be his equal. God didn't want Adam to be alone, he wanted him to have a partner to walk this earth with, someone to help him. Proverbs 18:22 says, "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord." 

All these great verses in scripture have been right there for me my whole life, but no one has ever put them all together and explained them to me in a way that it clicked with me.

"For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man." (1 Corinthians 11:8-9) God wants a wife to be a helper for her husband, plain and simple. Not the other way around. I know what you're thinking, because I thought the same thing: so I'm supposed to bow down to my husband and let him reign over me??! Nope, we'll get to that in a minute. God also made sure to tell husbands how they should treat their wives. And while we're talking about our husbands, I bet you're also thinking "does my husband deserve for me to treat him like a King?! No, he probably doesn't. Christ died for our sins; did any of us deserve for him to do that for us??! NO! We don't deserve anything He has given to us, not a thing. My husband is a sinner, just like me. It doesn't matter that he doesn't deserve for me to treat him with respect or be submissive to him, because its my calling to do so. This is what I was created for: to be my husband's helper (just as he was created to be a helper for the Lord).

I don't know about you, but to me this was pretty mind-blowing.

As my preacher says, but let's look further! ( :

God has given us a blueprint for marriage, as Mrs. Pearl says in the book. Check out these verses:

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." (Ephesians 5:22-24). 

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord." (Colossians 3:18)

"But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." (1 Corinthians 11:3)

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her... He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church. ...each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." (Ephesians 25, 28, 29, 33)

So yes, we as wives are called to submit to our husbands, but husbands are also to love their wives just as Christ loves the church. That's a pretty amazing love. Think of what Christ did for His church. He gave us everything. Husbands are supposed to love their wives with that kind of love. Not because we deserve to be loved like that (because we don't), but because that's what God meant for husbands to do. Just like he meant for us wives to submit to our husbands. See what I mean about marriage being a give and take? You can't just expect your husband to "give himself up for you" if you're not also submitting to him. Its a two-way street.

Mrs. Pearl does a much better job of explaining all this in her book, so I would encourage everyone to go buy it and read it. I am not affiliated with her ministry in any way, and I get nothing if you purchase her book. But it has had such an impact on me that I can't help but tell others about it.

Here's another point that Mrs. Pearl made that really impacted me: when we honor our husbands and submit to them (and basically just be the woman and wife that God made us to be), we are honoring God as well. I have never thought about it like that. Conversely, if we are not honoring our husbands and not being submissive, we are dishonoring God. Woah. That is not what I want at all! I want to honor God in all that I do.

So for me, even though it goes against everything I've heard my entire life, even if its incredibly hard for me to be submissive and respectful, I will strive to be that woman, just so I can honor God. I want to be a Proverbs 31 woman (see Proverbs 31:10-31). And I know that I may not ever be rewarded for my efforts in this life. That's okay, because I know God will reward me in Heaven, and that's all that matters. I was put on this life for a purpose, and my purpose is to bring honor to my God (that's everyone's purpose!). Being my husband's help meet brings honor to God, so I have to strive to be that.

I have tons more to say on this topic, but I am going to close this post now so that it doesn't get too long. I would love to hear your ideas and thoughts on this topic of being a help meet to your husband! Is your initial reaction just like mine was? Is this idea nothing new to you? Are you going to read the book, and if you have read it, was it as life-changing for you as it was for me? I think I'll turn this into a series of sort on my blog, since it is something I could go on and on about. So stay tuned for Part 2, where I'll get more into exactly what being a help meet means. This is gonna turn into a full-fledged study of Mrs. Pearl's book! ( :

Belated Valentine's Day Post

Yes, I am inundating my blog today with posts. I post when I can! Today I've had a lot to say. I've also had more viewers today than I've ever had, which is really exciting! I'd love more comments, ya'll. ( :

Some of the blogs I follow did posts on Valentine's Day last week. Most of them talked about how they decorated their house for the holiday. One blogger said she didn't do much decorating since its only one day. That was such a funny comment to me; all holidays are only one day, and we make a big deal out of some of them. ( :  Well, I don't do any decorating at all for Valentine's Day. The only holiday I decorate the house for is Christmas. Well, I decorate for fall, too, but that's not a holiday.

This post obviously won't be about my Valentine's decorations. I did make Valentines with C, but we only made 3 (one for her daddy, and one for each set of her grandparents). I just cut out big red hearts and had her put her hand prints on them in white paint. They turned out really cute! I figure in a few years she'll have plenty of friends and then we can break out the big-guns for crafting, haha.

What I wanted to talk about in this post is my sweet, sweet husband. I have never made a big deal out of this holiday, and never expected my significant other to do anything special for me. DH normally doesn't do more than chocolates, a card, and flowers, which is more than enough for me. Our anniversary is a week after Valentine's Day (February 21 - this Thursday!!), so since we got married we definitely haven't done too much for this holiday. We take a trip every year for our anniversary. This year, we decided not to do anything for Valentine's and just save our money for the trip (which we'll be taking next month).

So I got DH a really sweet card. And that's it.

I had planned to get up early that morning to cook him breakfast (he leaves for work much earlier than me), but C was getting sick and I was up most of the night with her, and couldn't bring myself to get up earlier than I absolutely had to. DH understood. But he surprised me by cooking ME breakfast! He normally wakes me up right before he leaves, just to tell me goodbye. (I have tried to make myself get up every morning with him, so we can spend extra time together, but I am NOT a morning person and when I tried I was just cranky all day, so now I just sleep until I have to get up, which is later than him.) Anyway, he cooked me bacon, eggs, and grits, which was wonderful since I usually just have toast before work.

This was also waiting for me:

 

 That card was really sweet. I was tickled to death! Later that day, the florist delivered a gorgeous bouquet of flowers to me at work. I'm not big on roses, and my favorite flowers are daisies, so that's why we have the weird mix here:

At this point I was feeling somewhat guilty that I didn't get DH anything except a dinky card. But, come on, we had agreed not to do presents!!

Then he called me after lunch to tell me he had another surprise for me. Argh! I had no idea what to expect. My man loves to give gifts, and he can be extravagant sometimes. But since we're supposed to be saving our money for the trip, I figured he'd bought me "Breaking Dawn: Part II" on DVD. Or something else in that price range. Something sweet or cute.

I should have known he'd go for extravagant!! When we got home from work, he presented me with another box of chocolates and some long-stemmed roses.

Now, I'm not big on roses, but these were gorgeous. THEN he handed me a small box with the tell-tale wrapping of our local jewelry store. (I know this wrapping well since he got me several pieces of jewelry for Christmas. Yes, my man spoils me, and no, I never ask for any of this!) Inside was an absolutely beautiful heart necklace:

It has white and chocolate diamonds. sigh. Its so sparkly. I love it, of course, but can you imagine how guilty I felt for not getting him anything??! He wasn't mad at all, though. That's just how he is. He loves to give gifts, and truly doesn't expect anything in return. Of course I put the necklace on and haven't taken it off since. ( :

Some people say men use Valentine's Day to give their wife something sweet and make up for the rest of the year, when he's not sweet or loving. I know that some men do that. But not my man. He typically only buys me stuff like this on holidays or special occasions (like our anniversary), but he does sweet things for me all the time. He just likes to go all out when he gets the chance!

The thing is, he knows I don't expect anything extravagant like this necklace. He knows I don't even have to get flowers delivered at work. I do like cards, and I've told him that enough that he knows that, haha! He just buys me nice things because I don't expect them. For Christmas he got me a sterling silver chain and charm, a gold chain, and 2 gold charms. Way more than he should have. I think he likes to shock me! (For the record, he doesn't go with jewelry for every occasion. He's pretty creative with gifts.)

I know that giving gifts is part of his love language. Its not mine, but I can sure appreciate it. What's interesting to me is that while he likes to give gifts, he's not much on receiving them. He's appreciative if he gets a gift, but it doesn't bring him as much pleasure as watching me or someone else open something from him. He likes love to be shown to him by doing acts of service - keeping his clothes washed, keeping the house clean, doing little extra things to help him, etc. Which works great, since those are the things I excel at. (For the record, my love language is quality time. When my man spends time with me, that says so much to my heart!)

My marriage is not perfect by any means. But I know how blessed I am. I pray that God continues to bless my marriage and make it continually stronger. I'm happy to report that on Thursday we'll have been married for 4 years! I know that's not very long, but considering not long before I met him, I wasn't sure I ever wanted to be married, this is a pretty big deal. ( :

And I did buy him a small gift, even though I said I wasn't! haha ( :

High Five for Friday - Claire Edition

Today is my baby's birthday. She's 2. TWO. How did that happen so fast?? It honestly feels like just yesterday I was in the hospital in labor... Last night, I kept remembering that experience. I kept looking at DH and sayin stuff like "at this time 2 years ago I had just started to push..." DH went to bed earlier than me, but I ended up being awake at 12:04am, which is when C made her appearance back on this day in 2010. I will never forget the intensity of that moment and the moments immediately after. Maybe one day I'll blog about it.

Having a daughter completely changed me. I've said that before. I look at the world totally different now. I try to see things from her perspective. I remind myself constantly to be calm and patient, that everything is new and exciting to her. She has taught me to find joy in even mundane things. She can make me smile when smiling is the last thing I feel like doing. My heart aches when I'm not with her. I literally feel like a piece of myself is missing. I never knew it would be like this. So wonderful and devastating all at the same time.

Every day she's a little more grown up. She learns so fast, its really amazing. I know all too soon she won't want to give me kisses when I drop her off at Grandma's in the morning, and she won't want me to rock her to sleep. And she won't run to me when something's wrong.

So I savor all those little moments with her now.

I treasure every time her little arms wrap around my neck. And every time those little lips pucker up to kiss mine. Every time she comes to me and says "Mama, hold me."

The only thing I regret not doing with her is starting a book to record the funny things she says. I always tell DH and other people and think I'll always remember it, but I don't. I'm going to start writing this stuff down, though.

I blogged recently that her newest thing is "Mama, my milk's not workin!" when she's drained a breast. At this point it feels like she's never gonna wean, and that's okay for now. I said I would breastfeed her until she decided she was ready to stop, and that's still the plan. When she was younger she never wanted to nurse from both sides in one sitting. Lately, though, she'll drain one side, tell me her milk doesn't work, then say, "Mama I want 'nother milk." And we'll switch sides. She's still so eager to nurse, like she really gets excited about it. Of course, she's always been like that. When she was an infant, she'd shake her head from side to side really fast while she was zeroing in on the breast. It was hilarious. I hope I never forget all the little moments we've shared while breastfeeding.

She's only 2, but she knows her ABCs, and she knows what sound each letter of the alphabet makes. We can hold up a letter and she'll name it and the sound. She can count to 10. She knows several colors. She understands things I never dreamed she'd understand at this age. She is constantly amazing all of us with her intellect. I know every parent thinks that about their child, but C is really special.

I feel so blessed that God decided I get to be C's mama. I pray that she always knows how much she is loved.

So for today's High Five for Friday post, I won't do a typical list of 5 good things that happened to me this week. I won't even make a list of 5 things I love about my daughter (like I originally intended to do). I'll just say that I'm grateful that she is my daughter and give a virtual high five for her birthday and her life. ( :

I'm linking in with Lauren at from my grey desk. ( :

<a href="http://www.frommygreydeskblog.com/2012/01/high-five-for-friday-button.html"><img src="http://i1216.photobucket.com/albums/dd361/lauren_FMGD/H54F1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a>

Expectations

Today I'm sitting at home, propped up in my bed with my laptop, not doing much. Tomorrow morning I'm having a colonoscopy done (if you've ever had one, you know how much fun the day before is!), and the stuff I've had to take in preparation has made me nauseous and sick feeling. So I'm not doing much besides reading and blogging. And reflecting. Which can be a bad thing, but since my mood lately has been good, my reflections are positive. ( :

Our vacation last weekend was not quite what I expected or had hoped for, but we did have some good times. We just spent too much time in the car for my liking. The mountains were absolutely beautiful; we timed it perfectly at the peak of the leaves' fall colors. I would have loved to have stayed in a cabin in the woods and just soaked in all that beauty. We went to a place called Cade's Cove. Its a state park and is really gorgeous. It's where I took the most pictures.

Even though our vacation was less than perfect, this past week at home has almost been. I feel closer to my husband than I have in a really long time. I feel more at peace in general. I'm leaning on God more and trusting in Him. I can't say what happened, because nothing specifically did. I just finally realized I needed to let go and let God, as the saying goes. Let God worry about all the stuff I was worrying about. He's got it in His hands; its all good. I can't even say when exactly I made this realization, it was more gradual. But the past few days I feel so much lighter, and like I said, more at peace. God has a plan, and all I have to do is follow Him and remember that He's got it under control. Not always easy, but easier than tryin to do it on my own!

I guess the moral here is things don't always happen like you expect them to, but sometimes the end result is better than you expected.

Hello and welcome!

Hey ya'll! I'm Nikki. Being an obsessive blog reader for quite some time now (we won't go into details about just how obsessive I am...!), I decided it was high time I started my own blog. (I've actually had one for years, but its become more of a diary of sorts, so its terribly boring to everyone but me.) Here, you'll find a wide mix of topics, including country life, crunchy living (more on that later), food, cleaning, health/beauty, parenting, and much more -  basically, whatever interests me. ( :

To start, here's a little background info on me. I live in a very rural area of North Carolina, born and raised here. I got married back in 2009 to my sweetheart, who would probably prefer to remain anonymous for now. We had our first child in 2010, and she is currently 19 months old (my, how time flies!!). The husband and I both work full-time, and I am blessed with a good mother-in-law who keeps my daughter. We live on a farm of sorts. We have horses, cows, chickens, ducks, and rabbits. And the standard dogs and cats. And a garden. The husband does a little crop farming on the side, and he runs a side business as well (yeah, he stays busy!). I sell Mary Kay on the side, too, though I'm not very successful at it, if truth be told. Oh, and I teach horseback riding lessons, as well.

Having a baby completely changed me. I know lots of people say that, but I can honestly say that every aspect of my life has changed (in a good way) since she's been born. I've learned so much about myself, my marriage, and life. I've become crunchy. (Like I said, more on that later!) I've become so many things I never dreamed I'd be, but I love it. I certainly don't claim to have it all figured out, but I invite you to join me on my journey to learn more. I'm constantly learning ways to be "green," save money, be a better mother, be a better wife, and be a godly woman. (Yep, I'm a Christian.) Its taken me a long time to realize I needed to make some changes in my life, but now I've jumped in with both feet and I'm lovin it! God's got an awesome plan for me, and I'm doing my best to be what He wants me to be.

Stick around, you might learn somethin useful with me along the way. At any rate, you're sure to be entertained! ( :